Slowie wants to trade in her loneliness

“He was never lacerated, because he was holding out for something better. But I left him behind because he just happened to enter my life when my body was at its best.”

“He’s right here eating this dry toast.”

“He saw me all the way to my goddamn creamy center, and wanted me. I wasn’t ready for that galactic stability. I was muscles and tendons stitched with fear and guilt. But I thought he was beguiling and everything all at once.”

“Full of guile.”

“My gross problem other than Barneys at the time was that my body was resplendent, and I became its first victim using it like a knife to carve up men. Drop them to rubble all while leaving my intimacy in my purse out in the living. room.”

“I know. My gashes have never healed, and you always carried a purse the size of a tire.”

“Your revenge is to see me now, as age tries to force its way in and put her fucking feet on my coffee table.”

“No. I’m a dude, whose victim to the past images in my head not the emotion.”

“Regardless I was held captive by it.”

“You’re living high cotton, though. That is its own erasure.”

“I would sale all of this shit—mainly loneliness for Mr. Beguiling. Who wanted to see me without the knife. Didn’t give a shit about it and was trying to give me everything else.